Saswat Pati

I first saw you on a winter’s morning
The snowflakes touching the ground
Each touch sharp like ice
You had a glint in your eyes
A smile of warmth
I could not say anything
For I was amazed at the perfection
And how could I? Who am I?

I waited myself
Every day as simple as the next
The time grew as a lotus does in its pond
Each petal crooning, the red on pink on white
The magnificence to be beheld, never to be touched
I looked through the window glass
Sometimes I saw you, sometimes not

My Father wrote to me this week,
He asked how I was and how I had been
Truth be told I did not know the answer myself
For I am a searcher, who knows of what
In the mind, plans are laid in seconds
Castles are built in minutes
But the mind is not a willing partner to reality
For worries are made even faster.

I travel the expanse of the stars
The distant black vacuum as peaceful as it is empty
The quiet is comforting and yet it is not
True comfort comes from the warmth of seeing the smile
Of those who care of you
Few and far between they may be
And yet more precious than diamonds they are

In the cosmos
I spend my days writing
Poems, stories, truths
To speak or rather to listen

I hear the cadence of the songbirds
Every morning at dawn
I wish to just stay, listening to their every hum
Their every melody
Letting the harshness of the day melt
Like the very snow around me
But alas I cannot!
I have duties, to whom?
That I am not sure.

I stop at your house, on the way
I hold myself near your feet
I speak to you
All of what I am, and what I need
Begging for an answer
But you give a stern face
And you stay silent
And so I leave.

The crown rises above me,
Glimmering through my shades
I walk the green ahead, each bud
Filled with the possibilities
But they have no one
Who do they grow for
But themselves?

I live in this malaise
Praying for more
But expecting the same
You are on my mind
But I know I am not on yours
Another castle

I have a mind of worry
I do not know why
“Be quiet” I tell myself.
“I will not” says my mind.
And so I bear on, endlessly
To be quiet when I am dead

I want silence, to not hear
The voices of the loud
Who drown out the truth of the quiet
And yet the silence haunts me
I did not know it then, but silence is nothing compared to peace

For in silence I think:
I walk in the Valley of the Kings
Each standing mightier than the last
But whose names are to be remembered?
Surely not mine?
And yet that is a dream
Of not just me, of many
Millions, Billions of us
We want to be remembered
But how can we be?

I go again to your house
Kneeling humbly in repose
I look into your eyes
And I beg for your aid for you are my strength
And again you do not say anything
You demand my attention
And provide nothing in return
But how can I ask anything of you
When I love you so?

I am among the stars yet again
Traveling as a fish travels through the stream
Naturally, freely, the confinement has lost its hold of me
And so, I am set free, as your truth should have
And I left you and entered myself
I passed into the beyond, a traveler of tomorrow